Oh Heavens, I just had a
most humiliating experience. The new
agitator for the washer came and the washer was going bang bang and I never
hear cars come or people knock. There is
always a lot of mess the day after mail day and I was cleaning it all up and
piling paper and envelopes on a big piece of corrugated, then I rolled the
corrugated up with the papers inside it and went to burn it outside although it
is fire season. It was a bit windy
outside so I took a match and lit it inside then carried the mildly burning
stuff out to plunk it in the yard to burn and I ran into the fire warden at the
door. I let out a bona fide girlish scream
and blew my flaming pyre out. He
laughed. I couldn’t very well stand and
talk and let it blaze up, nor could I bravely stick it in a corner and let the
house burn down, nor could I nonchalantly keep on going out in the yard and
burn it. He was looking for Elton and
Jimmy to see if they have the right fire equipment and I daresay he will order
them to get a set of picks and shovels and extinguishers for our yard.
Thank the heavens he
wasn’t here yesterday. Elton burned a lot of garbage but seeing as it’s fire
season I can’t even put this in my column.
After we burn garbage, we put tin cans and anything else that hasn’t
fully burned into a sack so we can dump them later. I went outside and saw smoke billowing from
the sack of tin cans we hang on the side of the feedshed. I tried to lift it off and it burst into
flames. I screeched for Elton and he
came out and helped me tow it away from the shed. He had put the remains of a shoe he had
burned into the sack and it was just hot enough to start the fire. Imagine if we had gone out – everything is so
dry. I didn’t tell that to the fire
warden.
This being a day of high
drama I’d best go and look for the kids.
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