Mom's column for Campbell River Courier circa 1950

Manson’s Landing Mirror

I open this column with a scream of protest, high-pitched, shrill, and outraged, like a cougar at bay or perhaps a squirrel protecting its winter store of nuts.  For I have been falsely accused.  I did not deliberately get lost in the woods to avoid attending the stone throwing work bee and the woods are not lovely at this time of year.  Unless you gaze at them from the roadside, the woods are horrible. 

  The Ladies’ Guild had a work bee to throw all the stones out of the churchyard so Ken Hansen can spread some topsoil around on it and make it all verdant, we hope.  I was there at 1pm, starting time, which is more than can be said for some of those others let me tell you.  I threw stones so fast and hard that several hit Dolly Hansen’s car parked out on the roadway.  Dolly, being unable to hit mine, was tossing pretty close to me after a time.  We were about to start truce talks when Jack Summers came up from the store with a message for Brother Elton, who was working in the woods.  I zoomed off in the truck, parked by Elton’s truck, plunged into the well nigh impenetrable bush, found a cat road, cannily followed it towards the sound of a power saw and found Jimmy.  He told me Elton was down at the beach with the Cat, I trudged the extra mile and delivered the message.  Then back to the bee, thinks me.  Followed the cat road back to the power saw, another cat road, a branch, a trail, another cat road, tried a plunge into the bush, back to the power saw, asked directions, tried again, plunged so far I could no longer hear the power saw.  That was it; I was lost, tired and hungry. Finally I sat down, I thought if they want me to get out of these *** woods they have to come and get me.  Then I tried one more plunge into the bush and fell out of a salal bush onto the road, a few yards above my Chevvie.           

  And what burned me up was Elton had come out and driven off in his truck.  He must have known I was lost, did know in fact because he admitted it.  He thought it was funny; he wouldn’t have thought so come supper time I’ll warrant.

  Then I went back to the bee, unfortunately just as it was finished and everyone was walking across and down the road to where the workers had been invited to tea.  The jibes I took.  Oh those catty remarks, I could barely swallow my third sandwich.  Now you know the truth.  I will take the apologies in person, fellow Guild members, or you can mail them to me.